30 Days of Grateful | 12 Months of Prostate Cancer

30 Days of Grateful | 12 Months of Prostate Cancer

It's been a while since I blogged about prostate cancer. Truthfully, it's become our norm and I am tired of it. My husband is still him. He's productive, intelligent, and working hard and I support him in everything we do as a couple and as a family. I haven't earned a paycheck in seven months and the reality of that is sobering, but somehow, miraculously he is paying the bills without my contribution. I feel incredibly blessed to have a husband who is strong enough and successful enough to support our household. The gravity of all of this has become deafening and it's been incredibly humbling. 

Yes, the androgen deprivation therapy makes being intimate impossible. He has no desire to touch me in that way, but he is still sweet and kind. We have always enjoyed our sex life and have used intimacy as a way to defuse stress. We all do that, right? Now, without that parachute, we have to negotiate and talk about our thoughts and problems more than we used to. In some ways it's exhausting, but in other ways, it's beautiful too. 

He was diagnosed this time last year and back then I thought I had it all figured out. I had a job I liked, and three young men we were launching into the world. I had a husband who loved me and a home that served all my needs. I was too proud and I see that now. There were things that I had been pushing down for a long time and I needed to get real and heal. Oddly enough, through the process of caring for my husband, I have let a lot of those things bubble up to the surface, and I have breathed. I have discovered there is beauty in doing less and peace to be found in the quiet moments.

Over the past thirty days, I have committed to the Facebook Gratitude Challenge and each day I have found something to be grateful for. It's not always an easy thing but I did it and I am proud that I stuck to that practice each day for thirty days. We can be grateful and still yearn for other things, aspire for more, and be in the process of changing. We can be thankful for what we have AND what we are becoming at the same time. 

So, on day thirty of the gratitude challenge I have to say that I am grateful for prostate cancer. Isn't that strange? Never before in my adult life have I been thrown such a curve ball and never before in my life have I learned so much about myself. 

It's December now and we are wrapping up the year like we always do, giving back to our community, breaking out the Christmas stuff, and remembering when the boys were little and things seemed simpler. We are all so blessed to have another day on this planet. Life must be embraced and people loved harder. 

Please remember that everyone you meet is dealing with something. Be kinder than you have to be in every interaction. Namaste, Dear Ones. 

____

Shannon Joy Mekeel’s first book was inspired by her husband’s prostate cancer diagnosis and androgen deprivation therapy. It is entitled You Have Arrived and will be released in fall 2023 and is now available for pre-sale at ShannonJoyMekeel.com.

The companion documentary, Hurry Back will debut April 2024 at the inaugural Redfish Film Fest in Historic Downtown Panama City. This 12-part series tells the story of her family’s struggles and victories over the past century.