It’s been a while since I blogged as The Prostate Wife. Truth be told I’ve been a busy bee promoting You Have Arrived and launching my new certification, PTOAffirm. We are currently half-way through a three-week work trip in California. I decided to come along as a support person. It’s my primary role now… loving him and it’s been joyous to see our roles slowly mellow into what each other truly needs. I needed patience and trust and belief that I could be more than an executive slave… and he just needs me. That’s all he really ever needed. Just me.
We show up for one another everyday and prostate cancer hasn’t changed that, thank God. We are still Tony and Shannon in every way that really truly matters. It’s a gift to know we can go through lots of tough things and still be one another’s rocks.
Over the years we have had a flood, moves, a kid who needed open heart surgery, and cancer. That is enough, thank you very much. In the past year, because of this prostate cancer BS, Tony has had to endure been Brachytherapy (ouch), radiation (good Lord), and we are still going through the joys of manopause from ADT. The hot flashes, fatigue and weight gain will go on for about about six months and if his cancer is undetectable, then they’ll shoot him full of testosterone like a Christmas goose so his bones don’t become weak. Then he may even be able to get an erection and have desire for me again.
His urethra is boogered up. It hurts to pee so next month upon our return to Florida the urologist will shove another camera up his penis with a little chemo cocktail attached to it to try to blast the scar tissue that the radiation caused. Then, hopefully he can go throughout his day with much pain.
Oh wait, there’s that weird hip bone pain on his right side. I have no idea what’s causing that but scans show nothing so maybe it’s just the extra weight gain? Then there is that glass lung they found on his last chest X-ray that he got from having Covid three times. It was no surprise though since work had him flying to Texas and California about 75% of the time from 2020-2022.
On a positive note, we are both taking some excellent supplements and trying to eat low carb. It’s not easy but we are doing it together for the first time and that helps immensely. Plus we have been taking walks together and he has been taking long walks alone… six to seven miles at a time and he even lost a few pounds.
Walking in the evening out here on Santa Clara has been fun, seeing new vegetation, houses, cats, dogs, people. I’ve dubbed our walks out here and “Other people’s picket fences.”
I hadn’t quite wrapped up my workday this afternoon when I heard the lock turn in the door of our Air B & B. I said, “It’s early. What are you doing home?” “I heard him set down his keys and he replied, “ I didn’t get very much done today,” and I turned around from what I was doing on the computer and he came hobbling over to me with an orthopedic support boot on his right foot!
I covered my mouth with my hand and gasped. “What at hell happened to you!?” He went onto tell me about his mishap on the job site. It could have happened to anyone. Construction sites are inherently dangerous places, but seriously, my poor beat up guy had to be the one to get hurt today? Seriously God? We find out tomorrow how bad it is. The rad tech had gone home for the day when he went to urgent care.
So, the lessons for today are as follows; life is so funny. Shit happens. When life beats you down and gives you lemons, make some God damned lemon cello. Take it in stride. Laugh or you’ll cry. Tony still smiles, despite all his maladies. We keep showing up for one another. That’s what marriage is all about.
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