August 16th, 2023
I almost didn’t take my husband on this cruise. He was impossibly miserable and the cruise had been booked. I couldn't cancel or reschedule so I changed the name of my companion through my travel agent to that of my twenty-two year old son. I decided to take him to the beach for the day to tell him of this change of itinerary while my husband rested at home. While at the beach, Logan considered the repercussions of my decision and protested the change our of loyalty to his Stepdad. Our marriage was in a really bad place and Logan knew it. He asked me, “Can't any man make you happy?” admittedly I paused, but quickly rebounded and said, “How about, for once, I learn how to make myself happy and you and I try to enjoy an amazing vacation together?” He relented and ate his lunch, thinking that this may be a pivotal time for his mom’s evolution. Sweet Logan, he just rolled with the waves that day at Honeymoon Island and I was thankful for his Zen-filled nature.
But as the days passed, I started to realize that my husband’s side effects of Androgen Deprivation Therapy were thankfully dissipating, and that we likely could take a vacation together, after all. So I called my travel agent back and changed my companion’s name back to that of my husband. Logan understood and all was once again right in the world. A few days later and here we were, on our first vacation together as a couple. It was one of those You Have Arrived moments when the clouds parted and joy filled our hearts.
Tony and I were really enjoying one another at our romantic dinners, hanging out around the pool, on active excursions, taking in the terrain, at ship events, taking in art exhibits, and even partying late until the night singing karaoke and bonding with other passengers. Things were jiving, until this afternoon while on an excursion in Cozumel. We considered ourselves lucky to have learned about ShoreExcursioneer at the last minute from another passenger and scheduled a Jeep tour. During this excursion, we had a blast visiting Mayan ruins and sampling Tequila. We now found ourselves snorkeling off-shore and lounging at a beach side resort pool.
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I asked our server if it would be alright if we ate our lunch while we sat in the pool. It seemed like a very vacation-like thing to do, but Tony instantly got angry and I could tell that his OCD was going into hyperdrive at my request to be served food while in the pool. This was one of the things that Androgen Deprivation Therapy did to him and at his moment I instantly realized that things were not exactly back to normal with him. Normally, he wouldn’t care about something so mundane, but today he was angry with me. I just wanted to enjoy my vacation and he thought I was being disrespectful to those who owned the resort. I thought, “He is ruining this day for me. Why can’t he just chill out? Why would the server offer to serve us our tacos and margaritas around the pool if they weren’t okay with it?”
Now back on the ship, resting in our cabin, all is well. It has been a very eventful and memorable day. I’m ready to get changed and join our friends at dinner and at the club to dance and have some fun, but he has cancer and he is spent. “Armadillo," he said. That’s our safe word that was established because we knew we may need one this week. We talked about what would happen when he needed to opt out while we were on our drive to the port in Fort Lauderdale. Saying “Armadillo” meant there would be no recourse if he needed a break and that he would be okay with me going out without him.
Tony made it through dinner but as soon as he was done eating he wanted to go to bed. I remembered Madelyn, a sweet woman whose dining table was next to ours. She had mentioned to me very briefly the night before that she would never take her grandson on another vacation with her as she rolled her eyes. It was clear to me that she wasn’t having very much fun with her grandson and why should she? Cruises are meant for lovers and I realized at that moment that I had dodged a bullet by not taking Logan on the cruise instead of Tony. I would have been just as miserable as Madelyn, but I thought I may be able to make this night a little more fun for her by inviting her to hang out with me for the next couple hours while Tony slept. It really seemed that Madelyn needed a mermaid!
After dinner, as Tony was heading back to our cabin, I asked her if she liked to party, to which she replied that she did. I wasn’t sure if she would be up for drinks and dancing as she was older than me, but then told me her story. Madelyn was from Puerto Rico and her grandson whom she was traveling with was someone that she barely knew. He had recently moved in with his father, her son, who lived with Madelyn’s ex-husband. I read between the lines and could tell from her facial expressions and disdain in the way she described the situation that there was a lot of family drama. I decided it was best if I didn’t pry, but It was clear to me that Madelyn had been desperate for someone to go on vacation with, and that out of that desperation she had asked her estranged grandson to go with her. What had ensued on their trip had unfortunately been interactions ranging from awkward to difficult since they left port.
Madelyn and I got to the pool deck with plenty of time to spare and found a cabana near all the action. We danced and laughed and chatted with other passengers and I did what I could to make her feel more confident and be more bold and to just enjoy her vacation. I was on a mission to be a good girlfriend to her and to make her feel more beautiful and desirable. I had told Tony I would be back to the cabin by twelve and I only had about twenty minutes left, but I didn’t want to leave Madelyn alone. It really seemed as if tonight’s party was the first time that my new friend had let her hair down during her entire vacation which was now more than half-way through.
That’s when I asked her THE question, “Hey beautiful, what is your type?” She hiccupped the gin and tonic I had bought for her and answered, “I like men…tall and white.” “Okay, let me see what I can do,” I replied. I considered myself a pretty good match maker so I decided that I had time to take one lap around the pool to see if there were any eligible bachelors that would be a good date for my friend. I walked the pool deck to no avail and then went upstairs and found a group of men about her age. I approached them and found that two were single but only one of them was ready to mingle. Randy from Kansas City said that he was interested in meeting my friend so I brought him downstairs and introduced them. Then I excused myself for the evening and hoped Madelyn and Randy would connect in some way.
The next night at dinner I asked Madelyn if she had enjoyed herself the night before. Madelyn gave me a big hug and thanked me for taking her to the pool party. She told me that Randy had not been interested in her but that it didn’t matter. She had just enjoyed feeling alive and having a friend with her as a wing-woman to make a few memories with.
My night with Madelyn was testament to a lesson I had learned long ago about mermaids. It was a lesson that I had also been reminded of over the past few months regarding the power of female friendships. We need one another to laugh bigger and to live more joyfully. Mermaids make life more fun and help us navigate tough times by just being there, and I was delighted to have the opportunity to do that for her, even just for a little while.
Shannon Joy Mekeel’s first book was inspired by her husband’s prostate cancer diagnosis and androgen deprivation therapy. It is entitled You Have Arrived and will be released in fall 2023 and is now available for pre-sale at ShannonJoyMekeel.com.
The companion documentary, Hurry Back will debut April 2024 at the inaugural Redfish Film Fest in Historic Downtown Panama City. This 12-part series tells the story of her family’s struggles and victories over the past century.
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